The New Member (Part 3)

[Inside the Akatsuki meeting room (without that chick)...]

"Now..." Pein began, "The reason we are here is for me to explain why this... 'Temporary member' is here."
Hidan glared then rolled his eyes. "You could have told us sooner BEFORE we got her, you know..." he groaned.

Pein sighed, obviously knowing that he should have. "As I was saying... The reason this girl is here is because..."

[FLASHBACK]

Pein was alone.
Not even Konan was with him.

To be honest, he was quite annoyed. His attempts of capturing the Nine-Tails has always ended in disaster. Many of the members had almost died by his hand... Even him. Hell, even Itachi's annoying brother has been getting in the way. With all of these disruptions by the main characters... Ideas are limited.

"Yo."
"Hm?"

Turning around, Pein saw a girl. A girl around seventeen with brown hair that reached a few inches past her shoulders and greenish-hazel eyes (for some reason, he thought she could be Kakuzu's daughter or something). She gave him a sly grin. "You've been gettin' screwed the ass lately, huh?"
Pein glared, "How did you know that..?" he demanded.

She laughed, "I have my sources. What I'm here for is to make a little deal."
"Deal?" Pein questioned, not softening his piercing glare. The girl ignored it. "Yeah, a deal. But before we get into that stuff..."
She held out her hand.
"I'm MetaGiga. But, that's sorta my code name where I work. My real name's classified, but just call me Meta."
Pein did nothing.
After a while, MetaGiga (or Meta) spoke up, "Um, this is called a 'handshake'. You grab my hand and move it up and down."
Pein didn't give a handshake.
"... Geez, all I'm doing is trying to do is be professional and shit." she pouted.

Meta put her hand down, then cleared her throat.
"Now then," she began, "I'm proposing a deal. I need you to capture a certain girl for me. I know you and your group are pros at it. You see, I'm a part of something called the FSA. I have a target I need to capture, but it's been elusive. I'm usually great at hunting down targets, but this one has made its way into your place."
Pein was confused. "What do you mean 'made it to your place'?"

"Who are you, Echo? Anyway... These targets are created to infiltrate different places and wrecks havoc using abnormally perfect traits. If not stopped, they can make every man or woman fall in love with them. During that, their power grows to the point of being extremely unnatural."
At that explanation, Pein pondered whether someone like that would benefit the Akatsuki.
And it seemed like Meta knew what he was thinking just by looking.

Meta sighed, "Dude, if you let one into your posse as an actual member, then your group would be in danger of the same thing much faster. And that lady... Aahhh..."
Meta looked through some notes.
"That lady Konan would be in grave danger of being forgotten completely."

That made Pein pissed. "I never would forget Konan, nor would anyone else in the Akatsuki." he growled, getting ready to show this girl pain.
Meta just gave him a concerned look. "I'm afraid that's what'll happen if you made her a real member... Um..."
She checked her notes again.
"Pein. Sorry, I got here in a rush to get here before it was too late. I couldn't read over many of the profiles I was given..." Meta said, laughing a little. "But I DID read into Sasori and Deidara. They're pretty hot, mainly. Didja know Deidara wears striped magenta boxers?"

That just made Pein stare at her. So... These papers indicate everything? Even extremely meaningless information? He was now very violated. Had he been spied on without even KNOWING?!

"Anyway, these targets have that power. They can replace, say for instance Konan, with themselves. Or they kill her to replace her and for some reason, the group doesn't give a shit." Meta said solemnly. That changed Pein's mind. "So, you wish for us to capture her?" he asked. Meta laughed, replying, "No shit, Sherlock! I can't go into your land to find my target or else I might disrupt the flow there. And I don't wanna add more damage then what they've already done."

Yet, something bugged Pein. "If what you said is true, this would make my members love with your target." he said. Meta also knew that he might say something like that. Fortunately, there was a way to stop that from happening. "If you make her a 'temporary member', her sick charms won't work. Now, the deal is that if you help me, I'll give you something to help you catch..."
She lazily flipped through many pages of her notes, as if she was not interested in the section she was going to.
"Naruto."
That really got Pein's attention. But before he could make the deal, he had to know a few more simple things.

"How do I know I can trust you?"
Yes it was cliché, but it was an important question that any intelligent person whose making such a deal should ask.
Meta grinned. "Even though I hear that half the time I work, it's a good question."
She flipped back to the page where she once was, then let out a deep sigh.
"I'd rather not have these guys be victim to my target..." Meta whispered. Looking over, there were pictures of Deidara and Sasori. They were taken so professionally that it caught Sasori and Deidara in mid argument. And yes, Deidara was indeed wearing striped magenta while asleep in a sloppy position in one of the shots.

As soon as she saw Pein looking at her 'information', Meta quickly put it up and put the notes into the satchel slung over her shoulder. She then dug out a folder from a separate pocket. Closing her bag, she said, "This is a folder containing the info of my target. But, before I give it to you... Do we have a deal?"
Pein was silent.
He then took the folder.

"It is a deal. If you do not bring the thing to catch the Nine-Tails, I will give you pain worse then death."
Pein took the folder after he said that. Meta smiled. "Great!" she said happily, "Now, I'll have a few more targets until the day before my week off. That day will be..."
She counted on her fingers.

"About two and a half weeks. You have to promise NOT to kill her. If I turn in a dead body, it won't really help my position in the FSA. Second, don't kick her out. If she roams free in your land, it'll cause massive damage. Thirdly... Don't believe a word she says. If she says that she's engaged to one of your guys, that's a bunch of bull. Fourth and final, don't find me when you get her. I'll go to you, get her, give what I promised, and take off. Our base is... Secret. You'll never find it. I guess you could call it: "The Disappearing Island Hidden in the Atmosphere."

Pein considered sending Deidara out to find such a place existed.

With a casual wave, Meta sauntered out of the Akatsuki base.

[END OF FLASHBACK]

The whole Akatsuki was silent. "Let me get this straight," Kakuzu said, "You made a deal with a seventeen year old girl that looked like one of my kids or something while being promised something certain to catch the Nine-Tails if we caught a bitch for her. Now we have to deal with this goddamn annoying brat for more then two WEEKS?!"

Pein turned away.

Itachi looked to him. "Leader, all due respect..." the Uchiha said, "I thought you were better then that."
"And she could have been a damn HEATHEN! You might have made a deal with a sinner!" Hidan added.
That's when Konan spoke up for the first time this entire story.

"Just shut up already. This 'Meta' will be back and I'm positive we can deal with her target for two and a half weeks. I will also keep close eye on everyone so that they won't go against the four rules."
The tone in her voice was enough to 'convince' them to do so. Kisame decided to speak, "Uh, Leader? Not sure if you've noticed, but the girl's going to be messing with practically everyone. Including you. She's been judging on looks so far..."
He turned to Itachi.
"You might want to keep low profile, Itachi. If I had one ryo for each girl that's fallen for you during a recon mission, I'd have more money then Kakuzu." he said.
That made Kakuzu glare at him.

Kisame then looked quite sad. "And since she really does judge based on looks... I'm probably going to be targeted the most. I AM strangely colored, after all..." Kisame murmured.
Deidara rolled his eyes. "Go be depressed somewhere else, hmm. At least you didn't have to deal with that damn girl the second she came." he stated. Kisame looked to Deidara and nodded slightly, feeling a bit better. Sasori, on the other hand, was still pretty pissed. "You say that so calmly, Deidara!! Now this stupid brat is probably going to sneak into my bed or something!!" he snapped.
Deidara just couldn't help but hide a smile.

"Silence," Pein ordered, "This meeting is hereby over. Everyone may now return to what they were originally doing. Kakuzu is on dinner duty. We will not have the same incident with Itachi's 'well done' cooking."

Zetsu raised his hand. "Leader... Why can't we cook? We haven't done so the first time and-"
"I apologize, but your 'surprise' wasn't really nutritious for us."

[So, yeah]

"Sasori-Samaaaa~! Where were youuuu??? You had me worried sick!" Christie said, jumping on the poor puppet with a big hug. Fortunately, he maintained balance this time. "Get. Off. Of. Me." Sasori whispered in an extremely dark tone. Christie didn't seem to get the idea and started to...
Snuggle him.

Fucking.
Snuggle.
Him.

Right when Sasori was about to stab her with his built-in blades, he could see Konan peeking from outside his door, giving him the evil eye. Sasori knew that it would be trouble if he killed Christie with Konan watching, so he did the next best thing.
Push her to the ground with much force.
As soon as Christie made impact to the floor, she looked up to him and her eyes got big. "S-Sasori-Sama... That hurt..."

Abnormally sparkly tears were now dripping down her face as a fazed background appeared behind them both. Sasori just sighed. More genjutsu. Does it ever end?
Christie put her hands to her eyes and started to whimper. "S-Sasori-Sama... Your tsundere is too m-much... When will you know that you're only d-doing this because you need love... Your heart is tender. I can feel it. You're not a b-bad person... I know... W-Without a doubt!"

This had no impact on Sasori's emotions whatsoever. "Tell me when your pathetic genjutsu is done. I'm going to go read a book."
With that said, Sasori walked out of his infiltrated room as Christie continued her speech of Sasori-tsundere.

[30 minutes later...]

The Akatsuki was now lined up in the dining room. (Unfortunately accompanied by the 'temporary member'.)
Kakuzu took off a kitchen apron (it said 'Kiss me and I'll kill you") and blandly announced what he had prepared. "Spaghetti. Water. That's all."
"Cheapskate..." Hidan grumbled, which earned him a big slug from Kakuzu. "It's more then I USUALLY make, so be grateful." he snapped.

"Whatever, I'm starving over here, hmm."
"I would leave since I am not necessary to eat, but I would rather see the look on brat-number-two's face when dinnertime begins."
"Tobi is a good boy because he hasn't taken anything yet!"
"We'll have something more... Satisfying. We got something already a few minutes ago, so we'll just go."
"Itachi, hide yourself from that girl with genjutsu or something."
"I will try to do so, Kisame"
"Konan, I believe we must go before the storm hits."
"I would stay to keep watch over the target, but I think Itachi can be sane enough to handle that job. I'm not sure if I can try my luck at the dining table with everyone again."

And so Pein, Konan, and Zetsu walked out of the room. Once the door was closed...
It was a complete transformation. To sum it up, wild animals called the Akatsuki were attacking spaghetti and tipping over water. As Christie gazed at the sight in complete horror, Sasori shot her a smug look.
Spaghetti was flying everywhere. Tobi was acting like his rolls were huge bug eyes while Hidan was making a tomato sauce 'woohoo' on his plate. Itachi was calmly enjoying his food while ignoring the chaos around him (for some reason, Christie couldn't see him). Deidara thought it would be funny to explode spaghetti in Kakuzu's face, which earned him some strangling. Kisame was busy trying to feed Samehada and Christie was soon covered in spaghetti.

This madness continued on until they finished/ran out of food. (Shocker shocker).
And now, it was time for lights out in the Akatsuki base. Which meant Christie's first actual night will be having to be in Hidan and Kakuzu's room to sleep. Hopefully she won't 'mysteriously' end up in Sasori and Deidara's room... In Sasori's bed.